Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Hey Greenway Assaulters, Watch Your Fucking Backs

Last night around 6:15 your group of three threw large rocks off of the 16th Ave bridge, onto the Midtown Greenway, hitting my girl Kelly Mac in the head. She wasn't wearing a helmet, but a thick fleece beanie prevented the jagged chunk of asphalt from cutting her head open. The rock broke her sunglasses, and again, fortunately, she wasn't cut. She has a terrible headache, but Mac is a tough chick, – a hell of a lot tougher than you weak pussies– and she'll be fine. But know this: if you are ever caught, found out, or busted in the act, I will slice the webbing between your fingers with a dirty razor blade and submerge your hands in buckets of lemon juice and cat piss. You will then drink the cat piss, while I pierce your eyelids with the broken syringes found in the crack-whore alley where your Moms turn tricks. The moment that rock left your hands you ceased to be human. What made you think that it would ok, cool, or funny to throw a fucking rock at another human being, especially from above, an act that could seriously injure, or even kill someone?

6 comments:

Tony Meysenburg said...

911 these incidents. I just heard RT Rybak address this issue last night at my neighborhood meeting. He said we need to call 911 on any act of violence like this so we can keep track and get law enforcement on it.

(And maybe send a Google link to the spot so we can keep track of the spot while biking OR driving.)

TOMMY GUN said...

cops were called, but after 20 minutes of no-show, she left. I really think that it's time to take matters into our own hands and give these punks the beat-down(s) they deserve.

Jim Thill said...

That's a pisser.

dRjON said...

4 IPA's into the evening, im about to fly over and be all scottish.

i had a concrete blcok thrown from a bridge on a cycleway in clydebank (ship building area of glasgow) it was only when i realised they were like 7 years of age i wanted to pulp the parents not the kids...

hope recovery is swift.

Snakebite said...

Hope she's going to be OK. Agreed on the vigilante justice.

Position undercover rollers up where the incident happened and then have someone roll where she was beaned. Eventually they'll try it again and be identified and then the ball peen hammer to the fingers can start.

PlanB said...

That's really fucked up. I hope you find those asshats and really work em over.