Friday, January 07, 2005

Ass Pocket of Whiskey

Welcome back to another excruciating year of BIKE SATAN.

You've probably never read this sucker because it hasn't been publicized. Who cares. Just remember, riding a bike keeps you young, and you don't quit riding because you grow old; you grow old because you quit riding. In the next month you'll have the opportunity to engage in plenty of bike culture. Now listen up:

The Cronometro Bikeswap is Saturday, January 15, in Madison, Wisconsin. Here's your chance to sell the stuff in the garage, and to pick up the pieces still needed to restore your Patterson 24" cruiser, or maybe that 1985 Trek Antelope-Camoflauge like Dick Larson's.

The 8th Annual STUPOR BOWL is being lodged again this year by the Minneapolis Bike Messenger Association, on Saturday, February 5. Don't just stand there, DO SOMETHING!

The Snowball's Chance in Hell Formula Ice Race and Snowy Dash for Cold, Hard Cash is also rumoured to be returning. Traditionally it has been held the first Saturday of February. This may or may not change due to the Stupor Bowl. Stay ABREAST of the situation at home of brausovcor productions.

If you're an "industry" sort, you may already have designs on QBP's "FrostBike," February 19-20 at their illustrious Bloomington facility. To gain admittance, you must be working for a shop, manufacturer, or know someone who can blackball you in. Good Luck.

One of my goals in 2005 is to keep this thing upright for more than a month at a time. Meanwhile, it's now the brutal cold hours in the Midwest so brace yourself with some vapor barrier and bourbon, ride your fixed gear, try on a wednesday night ride for size, and, above all: DON'T DRIVE IN '05


Junebug said...

nice what a coinkiydink i have a blog on blogspot and i roll single speed and satan rules and some how i stumble on to ya from god knows where....ass pocket was a great album too i cant wait to put ya in my bookmarks....anyway just thought id say hi!

Todd said...

ditto, tommy gun. i'm bookmarking you as well. if you're in the neighborhood, swing by and i'll top off your hip flask with something from my top shelf. glenmorangie, perhaps?

no gears!

-el jefe